The Pursuit of Happiness

What is happiness? Something that everyone on this earth is searching for. Most people tie love in with happiness, meaning that you need to be in love to be happy. For a long time, i thought this was the case. I was one of those girls that needed to be loved by someone in order to feel happy or complete. All i have ever wanted was to be in love. The thing is though, love is over rated especially when it lets you down. You can love someone with all of your heart, but that doesn't mean it will complete you, or make you happy. Graduating high school, is what it really took to find myself, and that can be said for most people. I think most can say they finally have established themselves as a person, without caring what anyone thinks of them by the end of their senior year. It's sad that you don't really go through high school with that much confidence in who you are. But this is to all of those who are insecure about themselves. Life is so much better when you stop caring about what people think of you. Being at a place in my life where i don't have anything to prove to anyone is the best feeling in the world. Every single experience in your life shapes you into that stronger more confident person. Such as getting your heartbroken. Again people tie love in with happiness. Just because a love ends does that mean you need to be sad? That's usually the case right? It was the case for me, but it changed me into such a better person. It was the biggest lesson and blessing in my life. It was a heartbreak in my relationship, and my friendships. You can't live your life to make other people happy...it's impossible. You'll never be able to please everyone and as soon as you remove those expectations of yourself off your shoulders, you find they never really needed you to try to make them happy. I look back on myself a year ago, and yes i was the happiest i ever thought i had  been. Until i wasn't. I look at that girl who thought she had it all. The best friends, the boyfriend, a team leader, I was on top of the world so to speak. Then i realized those friendships were fake...they were always putting me down, myself esteem was shot, and no matter how hard i tried i wasn't good enough. I went my own direction. Became friends with so many more people than the "eshelles" because i finally discovered there was so much more out there. It was hard to walk away, but it's so much better that i did. Those girls will always be my sisters...my team but they weren't the kind of friends i needed in my life. When my relationship came to a halt at about the same time, i didn't know what to do with myself. I became depressed. Because i lost everything i thought i needed to be happy. I tried so hard to be everything i thought everyone wanted me to be. I wanted to make everyone i "cared" about happy. Which really is impossible. Then in about April the greatest thing in the world happened. Suddenly i was just me. Liv. I have friends i don't need to prove anything to. And I'm alone. But the thing is...you have no one in this life but yourself. You can't count on anyone....but YOU! I made it a point to turn my life around for me. I found a job I'm good at, I'm appreciated there. I've made a friends that i can see being in my life forever. I started working on my body with clean and healthy eating, working out a lot, and I've never looked or felt better. My body was something i was always self conscious about, but now I am so comfortable in my own skin even if it's not perfect to other people...it's perfect to me. I can spend an entire day alone, and have the best day ever!

...That's the key to happiness. Is finding yourself. If you aren't comfortable in who you are and if you don't love yourself, how can others love you? Confidence is beautiful. What can you offer someone in a relationship if you only trying to make them happy? What about you? You should be living to make yourself happy and being able to make someone else happy too should just be a bonus. I am so grateful for the experience i had of being down on myself because I've never been more proud of who i am. I hope everyone can know what it's like to find themselves. I'm beautiful, your beautiful and that's all that matters right? I don't care what i look like to other people...which is something that usually tears most girls apart. But in all reality it doesn't matter. Because the people that do matter already know your beautiful. Your family knows, your friends know, and that one lucky guy knows that you are beautiful. Just like me. I don't care what bad things someone else has to say about me because they aren't true. If someone has to say bad things about someone else it just shows that they aren't confident in who they are..and that's their loss.

I may not have everything i want in life. But I'm on the path to getting there. I'm going to college, and I'm going to become something great, I'm going to take care of myself, I have friends that love me for me, my family is proud of me, and one day I'll have someone to share my life with and give my full self to. Maybe I've already met him, and maybe I wont know him for a long time. But all i know is if you're already happy, anyone and anything that finds you is only going to better you...because nothing and no one can ever bring you down once you find that state of loving yourself. I'm writing this to all those people who feel "lost" and who are trying so hard to make everyone around them happy and I'm telling you.
.....you're not going to make anyone else happy if your not happy. Work on yourself before you try to please others. Again because if you don't love who you are, how can others love who you are? Life is such a beautiful thing. The ups the downs. Everything is so beautiful. The laughs, the tears, the aches, the pains, the memories, the burdens, smiling, it's all what makes you, you. Live for yourself, and you'll find everything your looking for...just like I will one day. Here's to you, here's to me...because we're happy!

 

some random adventuring.

so...the other day my friends and i were looking for something to do. we had this urge to drive out Gun lock, trying to come up with something, ANYTHING! because good ol' st. george is just always. so. boring. Not thinking anything would come of the Gun lock adventure, but drives are always nice, and at least it was something different. while out there we just pulled over on the side of the road and took a picture of each other. they actually turned out really cute and i liked them. shayla evans? yeah basically she's beautiful beyond belief...it's quite unfair actually. she is a model. not a real one, but photographers beg to shoot her gorgeous face all the time....FOR FREE! Shay had recently done a photo shoot with local photographer Todd Ellis. she was showing us how pretty the location was (which is in the middle of no where, the road between st. george and gunlock to be exact). so i pull over....and it was freaking beautiful! of course we decided to take pictures.

when the pictures actually turned out cute, (meaning a bunch of girls screwing around with an iphone thinking they are models and photographers) we kept going. the only problem was, the lighting was terrible! it was so bright you could barely see in the pictures. we got the idea to come back right before sunset...but actually do a photo shoot! now i may not be beautiful, or be a model....but i absolutely love and live for having my picture taken. it's just so fun to me...so i honestly had a blast! I'm also pretty proud of how good these turned out. considering i didn't really get ready, and zoie is definitely NOT a photographer...i am in love with these and thought i would share them on my blog. because who knew that a drive could turn into my new favorite pictures.

i can't even express how much fun i had, as weird as that may be. i am so in love with this location and how beautiful it was. i think that is why i love the pictures so much...the scenery is to die! we didn't even edit these anymore than a filter to brighten things up a bight....but in it's purest beauty, look how gorgeous this place is!!!

this is completely untouched...look how stunningly beautiful it is!

Shailee Lauraa is 18 y'all

To my Shai Bear

18. Where does the time go? I love everything about summer, July, and the greatest thing about it, is that it's one of the most amazing people i have ever met in my life's birthday! Shailee Laura Linton. What a babe. I love Shai with all of my heart, and I am so grateful for our friendship, and how close we have gotten over this past year! Shailee's parents went out of town for a whole 5 days! So we got the gang together, and the party was in full swing! Birthday sleepover. Who doesn't love that? It was great because we got to celebrate every minute with her, so the party was definitely a party. I could not get over how FREAKING BEAUTIFUL she looked! Shai's always been absolutely adorable, but wow she looked amazing. I tried to capture the moment of her turning 18...but she got a little camera shy so this is the best i could do.

Dancing, laughter, music, and most of all crazy videos. That is what this birthday bash consisted of. I am so glad that we made videos, as stupid as they may be. Time is moving so fast, and the worst part about being graduated is this summer, just isn't another summer. It's the last summer before everyone goes to start their lives. Capturing every minute with these amazing friends of mine are just some amazing memories to cherish. Kara, always being the life of the party, demanded to buy us Slurpee's. Off to Maverick we went, which is a little sketchy at 1 in the a.m. i might add. I was lucky enough to carry the birthday princess around everywhere during this process. I am slightly embarrassed of the crazy snap chats that i released but hey, that's what your best friends birthday is for right? It's safe to say we had a dang good time.

Being the wonderful friends we are, we planned a surprise birthday breakfast with Shailee, all of us friends, and her boyf Trevor. Keeping traditions alive, that's what were all about. Of course we planned it at 6 a.m. then slept through it, and poor Trev thought we went without him. When we finally rolled out of bed at 10:30 the surprise was no longer a surprise. But we finally made it to Kneaders right before they stopped serving breakfast. I made it home and made Shai some cup cakes. I love baking, and birthday's are the best excuse. They were teddy bears, swimming with tube and a umbrella. I picked up some balloons (black and purple her fav) and i made it to her house right before her and Trev left for their Vegas date night. She loved them so much!

Well it wouldn't be birthday post if i didn't say some amazing things about this amazing friend of mine so here I go......

1. Shailee is the most loyal friend you'll ever meet, she will stand by your side through thick and thin.

2. Hands down, Shai is the best listener EVER! no matter what, when, or how many times you tell her a story she is there for you.

3. She doesn't judge anyone for anything, nor does she hold anything against anyone.

4. Shailee is so mini, so small, and so freaking adorable. I hold her all the time because she is so tiny.

5. She plays with my hair on command because she knows how much I love it.

6. Shailee wants those she loves to be happy, so she always encourages everyone to do the things they want despite their reservations or what people will think.

7. Everyone LOVES her! She has the greatest personality ever, it's crazy. There isn't one person out there who doesn't like Shailee. She is the sweetest girl ever.

8. Shailee and Trevor are the most perfect and realistic couple i have ever met. I am so happy for them because they are in love and love is a beautiful thing.

9. She doesn't say a bad word about anyone. Even if everyone else around her is, Shailee still finds something positive and genuine to say.

10. Shailee is always down for a good time, even if it's just driving around in my car all night. She still comes just to make my night that much more enjoyable.

11. Her laugh is so beautiful! I can't help but laugh and smile when she laughs because it's so happy and real.

12. Shailee is the kind of friend that everyone wishes they had. The kind that has your back until the very end.

13. Supportive. That is probably one of the best ways i can describe her. She wants everyone in her life to be happy and do what they love.

14. She will be the best nanny that New York has EVER seen!!

15. Shai, has the cutest style. She always looks perfect. is perfect. yeah she's just perfect. and has the best body ever it's insane.

16. Cutest darn sandwich maker in all of St. George :)

17. Shailee is seriously so beautiful inside and out. The thing i love most about shailee is not only is she absolutely gorgeous on the outside. But her inner beauty shines through so much. She has the biggest heart and that's part of what makes her so lovable.

18. I have never met anyone as caring, loving, and as kind as Shailee. I look up to her for that.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHAY SHAI BEAR!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU HAD THE GREATEST DAY! GOOD LUCK IN YOUR 18TH YEAR, I KNOW YOU'LL MAKE THE MOST OF IT! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

Introducing Liv

Who am I?

Hi bloggers, I just want to start off my first post by introducing myself and telling you all a little about my life. My name is Olivia Mortensen, but I prefer to go by Liv. Much more simple, and cute i think. Olivia is just too official for me, maybe one day I'll be sophisticated enough to be "olivia" but for now it's just liv. I have just recently graduated from Snow Canyon High School. I had the greatest high school experience anyone could ever ask for! I got to do what i loved most, and dance. I was the Eshelle (drill/dance) team President for two years and I'll never forget those moments, bonds, and memories. I love SC with all my heart, and it will always be a part of what has shaped me into the person i am, because i went to school with some very inspirational and amazing people. I am getting ready to start college this fall at Dixie State University. I'm not necessarily excited but I am ready for a new chapter in this life. Being graduated is such a weird feeling because it just seems like another summer, but this fall we all go our separate ways, and grow up. I'm a very simple girl who just dreams of making her life happen on her own. I can't wait until i can be fully self sufficient. I love to love people, and I'm super low key. I am blessed with the greatest role models, and loved ones in my life and I'm sure you'll see me blog about them all the time. But here I am....

You know you really are growing up when your best friend in the whole world moves away to start her life. There aren't enough words to describe how much i love Jasmine Dorius. She is seriously so beautiful, bold, strong, courageous, cunning, and most of all loyal. There has never been a way for us to be apart. Jas and i were super close when we were young but when we started high school we drifted our separate ways. But God has a way of bringing those you need in your life, right on back. Jasmine and i were reunited this past September and have been inseparable ever since. Jasmine has done some amazing things for me, i fell into a pretty bad state of depression and instead of letting me lay in bed all day, Jasmine made sure she took me out ALWAYS, no matter. She gave me my confidence back, and since then I have never felt better about myself. I can't even put into words how i feel about Jasmine. She is literally my other half, i have never felt more complete in my life then when i am with her. I didn't know it was possible to fall in love with a friend, but i really have. I would do anything for that girl, her laugh and smile, those are the things i live for. I am so proud of her for packing up and moving completely on her own to start her career and i know she is going to do some amazing things. That takes a lot of courage and independence and that is what i admire most about her. I can't wait until you come home best friend, so we can be together again. My partner in crime. I love you Jas.

Not only am I blessed enough to have such an amazing best friend, I am lucky enough to have a sister too. Obviously, it's not a blood sister but a sister non the less. Alexa Evans. Lexi. Haha I can only laugh at the first thought that comes into my head about Lexi. She's seriously such a klutz and i love it! She's always a good laugh because she's up for adventure and a good time but she'll either trip and fall on her face, or get nauseous to the point of vomiting because of her sensitivity to smells. Her laugh is seriously the cutest thing because she has such a child like joy about her. It's so genuine. Lexi has decided to serve an LDS mission and i couldn't be prouder of the sacrifice she is making to go and share her testimony and the gospel with people. I know she will do some amazing things. Lexi has so much strength, and i respect her so much for that. She has gone through so many hard times and tribulations but she always comes out on top. She is seriously so beautiful inside and out. Although we fight sometimes, i know it's because we only have each others best interest at heart. We fight like sisters and love even harder. Her and her family are seriously a second home to me. I am forever grateful for how much they have done for me, and how close i have gotten to them. Lexi is seriously beautiful inside and out, I love you so much bebe. And I am so proud of you!

Thanks everyone for reading my first of many blog posts to come! I'm so excited to start blogging and sharing my life, I hope you guys enjoy it!